Stupid Stuff Nations Say
by Dammit Kirito
Summary: Literally just stupid stuff nations say. Rated T for obvious reasons.
1. Chapter 1

_Stupid stuff America says:_

* * *

"Guten tag!"

**"HEY! THIS IS AMERICA! YOU EITHER SPEAK ENGLISH OR SPANISH!"**

* * *

**"Was I handcuffed to an angry foreign man?"**

* * *

**"I'll have you know, I dropped my happy meal and only cried for 20 minutes."**

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"America stop doing that."

**"WHY SO SERIOUS?!"**

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"H-hey, Al, will you keep this...innocent... little boy?"

**"Sure bro! He looks harmless! Well, apart from that girly voice and stupid hair. What could go wrong!"**

* * *

"Al, why are you under my porch?!"

**"Bro...I was hiding under your porch because I love you."**

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**"Hey! I'm 20% cooler than you'll ever be!"**

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**"I forgot to turn my swag off, now I'm covered in bitches."**

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**"I did it for the love~"**

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**"All the people I care about are being wads."**

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**"That's right, carry me like a princess."**

* * *

**"GUUURRLLL, WHY YOU ACKIN SO CRAY CRAY?!"**

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A/N: so many references *-*


	2. Chapter 2

Stupid stuff France says:

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"Ohonhonhon! Oui, oui, baguette!"

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*dramatic sobs* "My 'air is beautiful!"

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"You have a nice butt."

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"Your wife is going to be beautiful!"

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"Zhe prettiest of dresses are meant to be taken off." *wink wink*

* * *

"I am so romantic, maybe I should marry myself!"

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"I would step on a lego brick for you!"

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"I will kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet!"

* * *

"The awkward moment when a cartoon has a better love life than you!"

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"What do you mean my 'air is ugly?!"

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A/N: blah France was kinda hard ._. and again, so many reference XD


	3. Chapter 3

Stupid stuff Japan says:

* * *

Please do not utter such foul language in front of Pochi-kun!

* * *

I do not think that is appropriate at this moment! *flustered*

* * *

I'll think about but my answers are always no. Maybe next time.

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*to OTP* Kiss, kiss, fall in love!

* * *

You little shit, how dare you touch me. I will sacrifice your soul to the leader of darkness.

* * *

I apologise that I hurt your feelings when I called you 'baka'. I really thought you already knew.

* * *

That is more improper than Boku no Pico.

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Senpai will not notice you, you little shit.

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I will cut you.

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It's called 'hentai' and it's art.

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Can you please stop talking.

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You need to seek professional help.

* * *

YO HO HO TRA LA LA

* * *

I am a kawaii motherfucker.

* * *

A/N: ...

...

...

I don't even know


	4. Chapter 4

Stupid stuff England says:

* * *

You rampallion! I'll tickle your catastrophe!

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Halt or I shall simulate gunfire!

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I'm not ignoring you, I'm just having a Doctor Who marathon.

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I came here to drink tea and kick arse. And I've just finished my tea.

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Santo Rita Meata Mater Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack LaToya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explorer!

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Turns out, meeting new people is a lot more complicated than I'd originally thought...

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People - what a bunch of bastards.

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Marvelous. Splendid. Wonderful.

* * *

Can you please shut up? I'm trying to hide from stupid people!

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Oh bollocks!

* * *

Let's hit him violently!

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Why don't you go and invent some new cheese?!

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YOUR BRAIN'S IN WAY FAR OUTER SPACE!

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Would I lose my sexiness if I shave my eyebrows?

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A/N: I think I've been watching too much tv ._.


	5. Chapter 5

Stupid stuff Hungary says:

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He is so uke! *fangirl squee*

* * *

*blood gushes out of nose*

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Hello? Um, I would like to order some male cosplay outfits... yes, I am a girl, why are you asking?... STOP! DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME!

* * *

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YAOI IS STUPID AND CREEPY?! I WILL BASH YOUR HEAD OPEN WITH MY FRYING PAN!

* * *

"Why do you watch that weird yaoi shit?"

**"IT KEEPS ME FROM KILLING PEOPLE"**

* * *

WHAT YOU YOU MEAN I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH GAY PORN?!

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A/N: ...

yeah... sorry, I like to think of Hungary as a defensive person when it comes to yaoi and this makes her sound like a weeaboo

that wasn't supposed to happen

but then again, this story is called "Stupid Stuff Nations Say"... so therefore your argument is invalid


	6. Chapter 6

Stupid stuff Romano says:

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Fucking bastard.

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Fucking idiota.

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Fuck this shit.

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Shit.

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I hate fucking everything.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

* * *

Bastard.

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Oh my shit.

* * *

What the crapola.

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You little fucker, I'mma fuck you up.

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Oh my fuck.

* * *

Oh my fucking crappy shit fuck.

* * *

Fuck this.

* * *

Fuck that.

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Fuck me. _(Can be taken two ways)_

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Fuck you.

* * *

Fuck yeah.

* * *

Fuck no.

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Fuck my life.

* * *

Fuck everything.

* * *

Fuck it.

* * *

Fuck.

* * *

Fucking bastard, you're gonna wish you didn't do that, I'm part of the fucking mafia you bastard, I'm gonna fuck you up so hard you're gonna be scarred for fucking life. Just fuck you, you fucking little fucker fuck.

* * *

A/N: suddenly, fuck doesn't sound like a word anymore.

oops.

also

inspired by one of my favourite tumblr posts.


End file.
